Violated in Cross Creek Micanopy Ride – March 2005 by: Jon Day

The March 2005 club motorcycle ride will be remembered for years to come. It was a beautiful day, the route was fantastic, Cross Creek was cool, the town of Micanopy was quaint, and some of us got VIOLATED!

The plan was to ride some back roads to Cross Creek, about 20 miles Southwest or Gainesville. Then move on and raid the Antique shops in Micanopy. As usual, we'd find a place or two, or three... to eat. Then cruise back.

The route Glenn mapped out was fantastic. We took roads that we've ridden before, and ventured down roads that we were unsure of. But who cared, we were just cruising on a great day.

A couple of hours, and several stops down the road, we arrived at Cross Creak, famous for the home and now museum of author Majorie Kinnane Rawlings, (The Yearling” et al). Her home and grounds are open to the public. Hey it was a great place to take a restful break, and besides, Jack needed to play with a “hoe”. [:)

Unfortunately, we were already under surveillance. [:o He had us marked. But he was waiting for orders to move in, and for backup to arrive. But we slipped away before he could spring the trap.

We rumbled out of the parking lot and down the road that took us through town at no less that 30 or 35 miles an hour. He had to act, or loose the opportunity of nabbing our gang. About an mile outside of town, when we'd managed to accelerate to 50 or 55 mph, he bravely, and single haded, made his move. His unmarked sheriffs car, aglow with flashing lights, blew past us about a hundred yards, then slowed down. We thought he was on a call, or late to lunch, anything but after us. To our surprise, out comes his arm, signaling us to slow and stop, which we safely did.

He had single handedly and courageously managed to stop our band hoodlums, but then moved his car a safe 20 or 30 yards ahead of where we had stopped. By his actions, he must have figured he had stopped the core members of the Hell Angels.

About this time Glenn is setting up his legal defense. Turned around in his saddle looking at the rest up us, “Were we speeding? I wasn't speeding! We were going less that 55, weren't we?” Of course we all agreed!

But finally there he was. It was none other then “Big Bad Officer Brown”! [:0 He was well dressed, neat, polite, walked with an authoritative stride, and right out of Sheriff School 101. The only thing that was missing was if his hat had been cocked over at a jonty angle.

“Officer, are we in trouble?”, I ask, with a slight grin. His reply was a silent, squinted eye, glaring stare. But taking the opportunity to address the gang, he introduces him self. And informs us that we had just passed the Sheriff's home, and that the Sheriff does not like loud pipes!

At about this time his backup has arrived. She is not as neatly dressed, an is obviously quite a veteran Sheriff Officer . She quickly assesses the situation, and is doing her very best to avoid smiling.

Criminals

Officer Brown continues his defense, insisting that he is only doing his job, following the Sheriff's orders. He wanted to be sure we understood that The Sheriff was in his right to order us stopped, even resiting some law. He must have used 50 Scheriff School 101 phrases in the process. But unsure of just which laws to talk about, he decided to pull out a 1,500 page book of law and read, paragraph, after paragraph, after paragraph.....

Now my attention span is not that great, so at some point during this boring lecture, sleep deprivation takes its shot. I turned my head so Officer Brown would not see my yawn. Not surprisingly, I catch a glimpse of the backup officer who also had to turn her head to hide her smile and attempt to wipe it from her face.

Now Officer Brown is focusing on noisy strait pipes, particularly Patty, Sue and mine. Suddenly I see a crack in his armor and exclaim, “... but Officer, all of these pipes are baffled”, suggesting they are therefore legal. I think 'baffle' was a new word for him, because that was just the expression on his face. So I actually got down on my knee and looked up my pipes and say “see” so he'd get the idea.

Now my pipes are baffled, they don't do much to quiet the noise, but they are baffled. And I also know that Patty's pipes are also baffled, from a conversation I had with Tommy. However, having followed Sue for a while that day, I wasn't really sure about her bike.

Now Officer Brown may have just gotten out of Sheriff School 101, and may have been a bit nervous, but he's no dope. Sensing that perhaps I was pulling his leg, he decides to investigate this baffle thing. If I was lying, he'd have me brought up on criminal charges.

Next comes the unforgettable violation. He retrieves a high tech, telescoping, steel, Rambo sized billy club from his car, extends the thing, and shoves it up my ... pipes. Now somehow that just didn't feel right. The backup officer has now walked back to her car, closed the door and breaks out in uncontrollable laughter. But the violation is not over yet. Next he does the same thing to Patty's bike and since he is enjoying himself so much now goes after Sue's pipes too. I wonder if the girls had the same strange thoughts as I had?

Now “satisfied”, Officer Brown decides to let us all off with just a warning. Thank you officer, we all say almost at once.

Could you tell us if there is a good BBQ place around here? We are on the way to Micanopy, but it is lunch time and we are looking for a good place to eat. Now comes another unforgettable. Micanopy! he yelps. “There's nothing there! What would you want to got to Micanopy for?!” Now that has just got to be right out of the Chamber of Commerce book of nightmare sayings. He then directs us via the shortest distance out of his area. Cool! So off we go to Micanopy, anyway.

We had a nice time in Micanopy despite the warning. Most of us shopped the antique shops, ate ice cream, and pigged out at a great restaurant.

See ya.....

Jon